Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are like me, then.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Can a 40-year-old date a 20-year-old?

And the sadness?

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s still here.

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

The sadness was still there.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

I had run out of hope.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why is that Hag Hillary Clinton so quiet these days? She is the dog that isn't barking

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Be who you already are.

Why are Republican politicians so afraid to oppose Trump?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What is the funniest husband-wife comedy team ever: Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Burns & Allen or something else entirely?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s here now, writing to you.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.